One Lonely Ukulele

  

I have a ukulele. 

My husband bought it for my birthday last year after I expressed an interest in learning how to play.  And I do.  I do want to learn to play.

My birthday just past again, and I think it's been out of the case less than a dozen times.

There's just never enough time to do all the things I'd like to do.  Not enough hours in the day.  It's a phrase uttered so often that it's become a cliche.  But it seems so true.   Especially at this time of year.  When the self-imposed expectations of things to do for the holidays are piled up on top of all the regular things.   Things like:

• making some of the 16 crafts that my 6-year-old has page-marked in our Christmas crafts book,
• baking cookies and treats from scratch to share with friends and neighbours, and 
• writing and sending Christmas cards for the first time in 2 years. (One year I thought of starting a new New Year's card trend, but I realised that people would recognise my creativity as procrastination.)

But even before the Christmas rush, and in addition to my Never-Gets-Done-List, here are several other things that I'd do if only I had more time:

• I'd practise my ukulele more. 

• I'd read some of the books on my long list of books I'd like to read: "French Women Don't Get Fat", "The Happiness Project" and "I Don't Know How She Does It" have been sitting on my bedside table for months.  There's also "What Should I Do With My Life" waiting in iBooks for me.  And a whole 'nother list of good fiction that I've heard about or has been recommended to me over the years.

• I'd get around to actually shaping and painting my nails after trimming them.   I usually think, oh good my nails are short enough now to play the ukulele, but then my nails grow too quickly, and I've neither filed them or practised the uke.  (Sorry if this part was kind of gross.) 

• I'd love to get back to taking dance classes.  And learn how to sing harmony. Or join a musical theatre group.  Maybe I've just been watching too much Glee.  Or singing too many Christmas songs.

I'm sure I'm sounding whiny and complain-y, like I'm making excuses for not getting to do the things I'd like to do.  The positive motivational voice in my head saying "just go and do it if you are serious about it" or "If you really wanted to do something, you'd make the time for it."  And other voices saying "just relax, there'll be time for all the things you want to do once the kids are bigger."   (I'm not crazy.  Really.)

One suggestion of course, is to wake up earlier, stay up later, and generally sleep less.  But there's this fine line for finding the right amount of sleep.   If I get less sleep yet find more me-time, there's a balance between rewarding happiness and satisfaction from doing things I want to do, and the risk of being too grouchy and grumpy and compounded grouchiness because I know I'm not making anyone else happy.  Does this make sense to anyone else?  (Maybe I am losing my mind.)

So, I try to find balance and listen mostly to the voice that says there will be more time once the kids are a little bigger.   

And, kind of like the guitar that gently weeps, the ukulele sits lonely in its case.

What would you find the time to do for yourself if there were more hours in the day?