Wednesday, 12 September 2012

If I had a million dollars...

Everyone must 'imagine the freedom' sometimes and wonder how their lives could be different if they won the lottery.  I'm no different.

Although I don't buy tickets (Alright, I'll come clean and confess that I did buy one "Cash for Life" card last week.  In case it wasn't already obvious to you, I didn't win.  Big surprise.  And a waste of $4, I might add.  Plus I got all that silver-y rub-off crap stuck in my nails.), I have been dreaming lately about how a lottery win would help us out.   We could pay off the line of credit, buy a fancy new dryer, have the giant dead tree removed from our yard, put in flagstone patio and a privacy fence, fix the dents in the car, waterproof the basement...

But I've also been wondering, what would I do differently in my life if money wasn't an issue?

I've been reading several motivational blogs and books over the past few months.  Some of their concepts and key phrases are so inspirational!  But I can never really buy-in completely.  Maybe I'm too pragmatic, but I can never really figure out how to follow my dreams.  It seems too easy for real life to get in the way. 

However, if I were independently wealthy, I would definitely be able to really focus on following my dreams and passions, right? Then there would be no excuses. 

But wait a minute.  I've got a another problem:  I don't really know what my passions are.

My life has always just pretty much followed the standard course.  I am an average mom, after all.  I've never done anything drastic or adventurous.  I've never felt a burning desire to do anything, really.  There's lots of things I'm interested in, but I don't tend to get crazy-excited about anything. Maybe it's just my personality.  Maybe I'm expecting too much of a bonk-me-on-the-head or thunderbolt moment, or keep-me-up-at-night-can't-stop-thinking-about-this issue/project/activity feeling.  Or maybe, I just haven't found my passion yet.

However, if I didn't have to work, I would be able to indulge myself with some time to find it...  So what would I do, if money wasn't an issue? 
  • I'd volunteer at the school nutrition programs. Maybe join the School Advisory Council. Go back to volunteering with a literacy program.
  • Maybe I'd write some, or do some editing. Piece meal, freelance, no pressure.
  • I'd get more involved with the local farmers' market and the local food movement.
  • I'd take courses: communications, public speaking, documentary film making, horticulture, landscape design, urban planning... ?
  • I'd do more yoga.
  • Maybe I'd train for a marathon.
  • I'd buy myself a fancy camera, study photography, take lots of beautiful photographs.
  • I'd get engaged in local politics and activism. I'd try to make changes to issues like transit and development and child care and social equity. 
  • And here's a contentious confession: I'd be selfish. I'd leave the girls in daycare. At least part-time. I could justify this by saying that I think they need more stimulation and ECE than I can provide them alone. But it's also at least partly true that I don't think I can handle them all day, everyday without losing my mind.

Maybe, if I could do all these things, I'd be able to find my passion.

Tell me, what is your passion, and how did you find it?


  1. I have been thinking about the same thing for the last year or so. I don't really feel like I have found my "passion" either, but I am beginning to wonder if I ever will. Have you read "The Happiness Project"? In it, the author talks about some research that says you should think back to what you loved to do when you were young (like 10), just because you enjoyed it and not because you had to. That's supposed to be your passion. For me it was writing, pretending I was on the radio, and listening to New Kids on the Block. So, I guess I am sort of following my "passion" except for the tween pop music ;) Only thing is, I don't really feel like I am....

  2. I share your problem with not knowing my passions. I love lots of things, but none necessarily more than the rest. I've never been in a position to just do what I want to do and I really don't know what I'd do with myself if I was allowed to.

    Jamie @

  3. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

    Funny thing though, "The Happiness Project" has been sitting on my bedside table for months! I started it, but never made it as far as the "do what makes you happy" part... Guess I'll start reading it again.

    Now, if only I could remember what I wanted to do when I was 10... I wonder if my parents remember... Something to note: remember what my kids love to do when they're little so I can help them find their passion in thirty-odd years...