Every year around this time, I seem to fall into a bit of a motivational slump at work. It may have to do with the reassessment of personal priorities at New Year's, thoughts of career objectives for the current year, or the flurry of activity in the office that doesn't seem to involve me. Whatever it is, I start to feel quite conflicted about what it is that I want to do with my life.
Should I be striving for more, climbing for the next level, changing career directions?
Is that even possible for me?
After finishing my undergraduate degree, I couldn't decide on what further education I'd like to pursue, and I considered myself lucky to land a good job.
Then, before I could decide what I really wanted to do when I grew up, I kind of did. I got married, and later had our three kids.
Now the idea of getting another degree or going back to school to pursue a different vocation is overwhelming. And although I don't discount it completely, it certainly would require a shift in mindset, a huge leap of faith, and lots of support.
Plus, I still don't really know what I'd study.
So for me, although part of me aspires to being more influential and important in my career, at this point of my family life, I just don't see how it's possible.
But then I also worry that I use having a young family as an excuse: "maybe I'll go back to school, focus on career development when the kids are a little older."
Or, maybe I'm just not driven and bright enough to move up the "ladder".
As you can see, I can get myself caught in a real spiral of self-doubt over my true potential and desire.
However, whenever I worry that I'm not doing enough, I remind myself that to my kids, at least for now, I am the most important thing in their world.
Mostly, it helps.